accepting the things we cannot change

whoah. this is a big topic I know. But it’s been on my heart for awhile and I just need to let it out and what better way to do that than write about it! Because I am sure y’all have been through this too.

Accepting what we don’t like can be one of the hardest challenges we face. For some, its a daily battle. Have you ever caught yourself trying to change things you have no control over? I know I have. If we can’t change a situation or an outcome our best option is to learn how to accept it and deal with it. But what we don’t often think about is that acceptance has benefits. A few of them are:

  • A more positive attitude
  • Less worry and stress
  • Less energy drained from trying to figure things out
  • Ability to embrace change
  • Greater appreciation and gratitude
  • A more compassionate perspective

Acceptance is not the same as resignation. We can continue to push forward despite accepting that there are things beyond our control. I have a few tips on learning to accept the things we can’t change and move on.

  1. LET GO OF THE PAST-  we all have baggage. all of us. this baggage gets heavier the longer we hold onto it. we can’t change the past. no matter how hard we try. what happened in your past happened, so our only hope is to learn how to accept our past and move forward. if we sit and dwell, it only makes things so much harder. instead, take the past, and learn from it and make the future even better.
  2. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF- loving yourself is one of the MOST important things for your health. in fact, to me its the most important. self worth is extremely important and your worth is not defined by your past, others opinions, or anything that isn’t your own opinion. your worth is defined by YOU and you only. love yourself because everything about you is the way it is for a reason. God doesn’t make mistakes.
  3. MAKE IT MEANINGFUL- whenever things go wrong, we automatically qualify it as the “worst thing ever”. but sometimes these things are the key elements in creating who we truly are. without those experiences, and bad memories, you may not have become the stronger person you are today. it is easier to accept something when we explore the opportunities and possibilities that come out of it. so take the things that went wrong, and grow from it. if you can go through it, you can grow through it.
  4. EXPECT LESS- we live in a world that tells us to want more, be more, and do more. this isn’t always a negative message, but it often gets in the way of our life-satisfaction. we are constantly focusing on how to be more like something that we are not. whenever something doesn’t meet our expectations, we get upset or frustrated or irritated or disappointed. life can almost seem unfair in the moment or even worthless. but that is simply because of the expectations we have in our head. we don’t need to look like the girl on TV or the model on instagram, we need to look like ourselves and BE ourselves. focus on what you want to create instead of what you expect to happen. creation is motivating, expectation is demanding.
  5. SET NEW GOALS- you not be able to change what you’re going through right now, but this doesn’t mean you can’t live a full and meaningful life. you can adapt and adjust to your present circumstances. so set new goals for yourself. realistic goals. did you not lose as much as you wanted to? find a plan that can help you do it and stick to it. did you not end up getting the promotion you thought you would get? oh well, make it a goal to push even harder and work even harder to get it the next time. stop avoiding difficult issues and only focusing on what you can’t change. focus on what you can do about the situation, and if you can’t change something it’s time to accept this reality.

my hope for this post is to show someone that even though life my not be ideal, we can make it ideal and perfect in our own eyes. we can take the things we do not like, and the things we do not accept, and grow from these. we can come out on the other end stronger and an even better person. remember your worth is defined by YOU. God made you beautifully and it is so important to know that. accept the past, move on, and keep doing you.

xoxo, laurel

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